Time to blow the dust off

*cough cough* Wow. This place is pretty derelict. I think I should do something with it.

So, this past weekend my wife participated in the Tough Mudder. For those of you who may not know, it's basically a 12-mile obstacle course with a lot of hills, and some truly scary obstacles. The website can give you a better picture of it. Anyways, so my wife decided to do this. She joined up with a team, trained for the last several months, and went in confident that she would finish (it's not a race, but a challenge).

Well, long story short, she got injured and couldn't finish. She popped her knee on a downhill run, and after trying to muscle through it for two more miles, it gave out completely (hey, I never claimed my wife was sane!). She was so upset with herself, and now she is more determined to make it thorough, and is already planning to give it another go next year. Funny thing is, in a moment of sympathy, I told her I would do it too. What the hell was I thinking???

But, after thinking about it, this is probably the best thing I could do. I went to the doctor's office for a check up yesterday. My general health is good. My diabetes is under control, none of my numbers are too out of whack, and I don't have any ailments that are really hurting me. My bad cholesterol is in the normal range, but should be lower because I have diabetes, and my good cholesterol is a bit low. So, that's my next focus.

But, larger than that is this tire I have developed around my gut again. I've kind of always had a pooch in my tummy. Unfortunately, as I get older, that pooch has turned into a full-on tub-o-lard. At least, that's what I see when I look down. And I hate it. But, I am one of the least motivated people I know. So getting rid of it is a real challenge. Enter my sympathetic promise. Training for the Mudder is probably exactly what my body needs.

And in turn, it's probably what my mind needs as well. I know that if I talked to a shrink, I would probably be diagnosed as clinically depressed. I have horrible eating habits, feel very little motivation or passion for anything, and have constant bouts of self-pity and regret. I really need to get out of this. One thing I found when doing some research about self-treating depression (I just don't want to incur the amount of medical bills that would come from professional treatment if I can avoid it...thanks Scott Walker) is that depression in men over 40 is common, and is often the result of lowered testosterone levels. So, while I am going to try to get back on the exercise bandwagon, I'm also going to be looking for other ways to boost my testosterone levels naturally. And the first step in that will be to lose this gut.

So, here's to another fresh start. How many of these will I put myself through? As many as it takes to be the man I want to be again